Subjectivity

Well it is finished.  Our time in Uganda with YWAM is over.  (We’ve actually been gone from there since the end of June.)  But I feel the need to post one more time to help bring closure to this chapter of my life.  Call it therapy.

Some would say I didn’t ‘finish well’, others might disagree.  Subjectivity…

I think to those eight young men who were students of the vocational school, and such a big part of our lives there – arguably the reason I was there – I ‘finished well’.  But to some of our fellow staff, especially those in leadership, and probably even to Beth, I didn’t ‘finish well’.  To them, the ‘anger, bitterness, and resentment’ which I displayed were not signs of ‘finishing well’.

So what is this ‘finishing well’ I write of?  Several months prior to ending our time at Hopeland there was another couple there also from the west.  We had met them on our first visit, and this was their third extended stay, and they were very familiar with the challenges faced there.  They also recognized the struggles I was having dealing with some of those challenges.  Their advice was that no matter what, I needed to ‘finish well’.  Meaning mending broken fences, healing wounds, fixing broken relationships.  Forgiving.

Using those things as the parameters to measure my final months at Hopeland, I didn’t ‘finish well’.  At some point I will find a way to forgive, but forgive what?  Incompetence, ineptness, corruption, apathy, immorality…  Sin.  Sin, we all struggle with it, yet in the leadership at Hopeland these things seemed to be an acceptable way of doing business.  And I struggled with that, I couldn’t get past it, and I allowed that to keep me from ‘finishing well’.

Obviously my experience wasn’t what I expected or hoped for.  I was disappointed, the picture I had in my mind wasn’t reality.  People are human and will disappoint other people.  Put me on both sides of that.  I guess I just expected more from Christian leaders in a Christian organization.  Apparently what I experienced had a bigger (negative) impact on who I am than I want to admit.  Just ask those around me, the ones I’m ‘close to’.

So, I left Uganda somewhat more cynical, skeptical, and a little jaded. I realize there are ‘good’ and ‘bad’ people wherever you are.  ‘Good’ and ‘bad’ works, too.  But ‘good’ and ‘bad’ can be matters of subjectivity…

   

Happy spring time

On our visit to Uganda we heard some school children reciting: “There are two seasons; the wet season and the dry season.”  As I type this it is pouring rain, and we’ve begun another wet season.  Readers may tire of my weather reports, sorry, but I feel I must tell of the passing seasons…

We are finishing a week’s break between vocational school terms.  We are trying to follow established school patterns, but since we’re pioneering this school we are able to take liberties with curriculum, format, and schedules.  Okay, really it’s mostly me doing this thing, and ‘I’m wingin’ it’.

During the break Beth and I were able to take a few days of needed R&R.  We went one night to an institution founded for training young people in many areas including a primary school, vocational school, hotel management, and others.  It’s German run, and done very well, making it very nice for guests.  We then went the other direction to a place called Sipi Falls where we spent two days relaxing at a guest lodge.  Transportation was a combination of buses, taxis, bodas (motorcycle), and special hire private vehicle.  It’s not always convenient, but we’re getting more adept at moving around.

The construction project of the vocational school is progressing.  The walls were nearly completed as we reached the term break, and as we resume this week we will begin with the roof.  Rainy season may not be the best time to start, but we have no choice.  The things which are in the kitchen now will be exposed as we remove the old roof, so hopefully we can add the new one quickly.  If I’ve learned anything here, though, it’s that things don’t happen quickly.  Especially while training.  Once the roof is in place, the remaining tasks should be more enjoyable.  Did I mention I’m afraid of heights?

Beth has obtained her uniform and special cap, and will start volunteering in the children’s section of the government hospital this week.  They are excited to have her, and she is excited to begin.  I’m sure there will be many interesting stories coming from her experiences there…

Some of our students have been working very diligently in a garden to grow some vegetables which they hope to sell ‘to raise money for graduation’.  They have put in many hours in their ‘spare time’, and the work is really paying off.  Their garden has become the envy of many, including the staff and students of the agriculture school which is underway, and whose own gardens don’t look near as nice.  And we’re hoping that since our students have a head start on the growing season they will be able to reap some early rewards.

While many things can become frustrating here, seeing and reflecting on what our students are accomplishing is one of our rewards...

Vocational Building

People have asked why there have been no recent posts.  I even ask myself, or at least tell myself that I really should post something.  But I don’t want to sound like a whiner, and right now the things I have to say about this place (Hopeland, not Uganda) would mostly be perceived as whining.  I’ll just say that we have been frustrated, discouraged, disillusioned, disappointed, angry, and much more by the leadership here.  But God is bigger, and there are changes for the better underway.  So let me try to update.

We went home for the holidays.  It was a great time spent with family and friends which passed too quickly.  We returned the first week of January, just in time to attend the graduation of the most recent DTS.  We had grown very close to some of the students, and we were thankful we were able to be there for the event.

We also quickly resumed the vocational school, but were challenged with what direction to go.  Ultimately it was decided that we would work entirely within our own department and expand the vocational school kitchen.  When the girl’s school is running they find it difficult to work in the area they have, and even now the space is being used for another program running during the week.  So we have begun work to double the size of the existing 16’x30’ building.  I have contracted with a local builder to work with the students twice a week for the concrete and bricklaying phase.  The three days he has been here have been very helpful, and we have nearly completed the brick foundation walls.  It has also given me a chance to work on some other things, including beginning the process of getting the plans for this and previous base construction sorted out with the local building department.  Interesting so far, and I’ve just begun…

Today is national election day in Uganda.  The months leading up to it have been filled with rallies, rumors, speculation, prayer, and a sense of instability.  We’ve constantly been warned of the potential for violence, and cautioned to stay away from the cities and towns until it’s all over.  Most schools have delayed their term break re-opening by more than three weeks because of anticipated unrest.  Other than the noise from truck mounted speakers and associated crowds, we’ve really not been affected.  Depending on the results, things should be back to normal next week
.

Beth was recently able to bring all the necessary documentation to the capitol, Kampala, and received her license to practice nursing in Uganda.  Bureaucracy here can be daunting, but because she had everything together the first time, it went very smoothly for her, requiring just two trips.  The first to drop everything off, the second to pick up the license.  Those trips became an opportunity to experience some very enjoyable dining in some of the ‘western’ restaurants in Kampala, as well as a relaxing weekend away from the base.  Next week, after the election furor, she will seek out opportunities to use her skills away from Hopeland.  (She sees several ‘patients’ a week seeking diagnosis and treatment for their ailments, nearly always perceived to be, but never really malaria.)

Israel is one of our students.  He has a heart of gold, is a hard worker, and we brought him here for the school from western Uganda after getting to know him last year.  He’s somewhat soft spoken, and sometimes things get lost in translation… Two recent conversations:

Good morning… may I sit down… I have some sad news…  The son of Grace has died during the night.

What!  You mean Lemeck?

Yes, we don’t know what happened, but we found him dead this morning…

It took a while, but I eventually realized that he hadn’t said ‘the son of Grace’, but rather, ‘this hen of Grace’.  He was so proud of, and committed to his two chickens brought from the village which he was caring for along with Grace’s hen, and was very upset by the death.  Another:

staging bricks

Karim providing instruction

The other members (students) want you to talk with us about VD, they want to know what’s happening here on the base.

Have they heard something?  Are they concerned? 

Yes, they’ve heard some things, and they want to know about it…

Back and forth we went until I agreed to talk to them, but clarified they wanted to know about STI’s, sexually transmitted infections.

Oh no!  VD is visitation day; we want to know when that’s going to be.  But you can talk to us about the other, maybe it’s God…

November

November is more than half way gone; the time is passing quickly as we continue to be busy.  While we have not begun construction of a new building, there are enough ‘projects’ and needs around the base to give us practical experience in the construction techniques here.

Modifying an existing building, or remodeling as we would call it at home, sometimes presents more challenges than new construction, but we’ve managed with good results.  The three larger projects we’ve taken on are:  modifying the farm storerooms into a workshop, adding a porch and doorway to one of the buildings, and dividing a small space for better use as a toilet and cleaning closet.  There have been plenty of mistakes, or as I see it opportunities for learning, and so far the end results have been good.  Since the construction is of brick and concrete it’s new to me as well, so I’ve been learning much along with our students.  What I bring is the confidence to willingly ‘take it on’, and we’re beginning to see some of that confidence building in the students also.

We’re in the midst of a heavy rainy season.  Great for growing, especially since it came late and many who rely on growing were very worried, but challenging when doing construction.  Moving materials and tools around through the mud and tall grass, and scheduling the building around the rains can be difficult.  Concrete and mortar are mixed on the ground using the local hoes and shovels, then carried by whatever means to the point of use.  Then we hope for a few hours of drying before it rains again.  Some of our sand has been washed away, and we lost part of the stairs we’d made to a downpour, but these also become opportunities for learning. Much of what I’m trying to teach is planning and preparation and local conditions are part of it.

The students have become a valuable part of the base community, participating in activities and making friends with students and staff from other schools.  There have been some friendly futbol matches with the DTS (gone for outreach now), some are singing with the worship team, and of course we all do our part with work and kitchen duties.  Beth and I are not only the only teaching staff, but also the ‘parents’ to the guys, and the ones who they come to for most of their personal needs as well.  We also find ourselves playing that role to many others on the base as the relationships formed in the last year have grown.  It sometimes puts us into situations we’d not expected, but we knew much of what we’ve come here for were those relationships.

Next month we will be travelling home for time with family and friends for the holidays.  It comes during a break between school terms (plus a few days on either side).  We’re looking forward to that time, and I’ll even try to enjoy the cold weather which I’m no longer used to…

School is in session

They’re here, school has begun, and it’s exciting!

 

We began on September 14^th with eight students.  We had accepted ten of the 14 interviewed, but two didn’t show up because of lack of school fees, which is a constant refrain here.  Saying no to the others was also very difficult, especially as I saw the desperation, theirs, and those who brought them, but I knew this wasn’t the right program for them. 

As I’ve shared before, this isn’t the typical Ugandan vocational school.  I hope to have a lot more practical experience and much less ‘theory’ than is normal here.  Also, by not focusing on one construction discipline, but exposing the students (and staff) to the various trades, I’m hoping to encourage critical thinking and a better understanding of how the trades are interrelated.  Here, if you attend one of the typical (government sanctioned) vocational schools you will be taught one discipline, plumbing for example, and won’t receive any training about the others.  Most schools face a real shortage of resources as well, so practical experience is lacking.  The nearby vocational institute which we visited teaches concrete and bricklaying construction, yet several of its classes meet under a tin roof supported by sticks because there isn’t money to build a structure, and the students practice bricklaying by stacking the few bricks they have using wet sand as mortar, then knocking them down, and repeating.  The school also has an automotive repair program, but no tools, and an electrical program, but no electricity on site…  Of course we are faced with a lack of resources, but we’re moving forward.

Our first week was mostly orientation; getting to know one another, the place, the routine, and etc.  We began the second week, and have continued with teaching on planning, preparation, planning, tools, planning, safety, planning, computer, and planning.  The base schedule and other responsibilities, as well as the things you have to include in a school in Uganda (the tea break) really affect the amount of teaching time, yet we’re making it work.  I’ve also emphasized the need for flexibility, so we can take advantage of opportunities or unanticipated contingencies as they come up.

And we’ve already had some opportunities.  On the second day of class (after orientation week) Beth was talking with another staff member of a different ministry and found out they were helping on a house being built for a woman with cancer.  Beth (who is committed and invaluable to the school) volunteered us to go and help. This was really beneficial, as the house was nowhere near complete, and we were able to perform a lot of work, as well as see the house at a stage which we were already talking about in class.  We were able to go back again on Friday, and get a lot more done.  Much of it is ‘grunt work’, but it’s a reality of the construction methods here, and it’s giving practical hands on experience, and it’s helping to get the house closer to completion.  Also, the students met the woman whose home it is; she is so very appreciative, and it helps to reinforce some of the character principles which are an important part of the school.

It is our hope and goal to build a home, or some other building here on base, which will depend on the leadership to find the resources.  Meanwhile, though, we will probably do more work at the home under construction, as well as modifying the farm storerooms to become a workshop.  Planning for that has already begun, as has some excavation and demolition.  There are also many maintenance and repair projects on the base which could keep us occupied for the entire school year, and could provide practical experience, however that is not our preference.

Of course, besides running the school (which has given me even more appreciation for teachers everywhere) there is much to keep us busy.  There are plenty of challenges still facing us and the rest of the staff.  Relationship is still the primary reason God brought us here, and is much of what we’re doing.  About a month ago one of the staff began facilitating nightly worship, and it has been an important part of the healing and restoration God is bringing to Hopeland.  Please pray for us as we continue in the process.

The word is out

One of the reasons for the long spaces between these posts is that I’ve found it difficult to be positive.  I’m sure that reading previous posts one will sometimes sense a measure of sarcasm and cynicism.  Well, for the last few months I’ve really struggled with some personal attitudes; that cynicism, anger, and frustration among them, and I haven’t been a person God wants me to be, others would like me to be, or even who I want to be.  It’s easy to make excuses, but really that’s all they are, excuses.

 

My main excuse:  Things here haven’t been good, not Uganda, but YWAM Hopeland.  For years sin and mismanagement have been allowed to abide comfortably creating an atmosphere of division, mistrust, fear, and apathy.  The perfect place for a critical cynic like me, right.  But it’s where God sent us, and unfortunately I allowed it to affect me, adding to my already pretty negative persona.  Again, it’s an excuse, not an acceptable reason for my negative attitude, so for that I’m asking your forgiveness.

Regarding the excuse, the sin and mismanagement, some things are changing.  There are still some strongholds to be broken, but there is attention and pressure from within and without, and God is working to restore this place to what He desires it to be.  There is a group of young people here that God is using to change me, and others, and this place.  We need your prayers…

Homes of Hope was active again recently.  I wasn’t nearly as involved this time.  They were able to make one mold locally and produce enough foam blocks (before running out of chemicals) to build the exterior walls of a home.  The inside walls were made from wood.  This time, instead of bringing in an outside team, a group of local pastors was organized to do most of the work, and more importantly, to be a part of the process.  The goal is to have it a locally administered program involving the local community.

"Wow, it's like the Sheraton"

I have completed the bathroom project that has consumed (too) much of my time, and am now focusing on the vocational school which will begin September 14.  We will be sharing a classroom with another program for widows which will start at the same time, and split our time between there and some storerooms on the chicken farm.  Part of the initial phase of the school will be to refurbish those storerooms into classroom and workshop space until more acceptable and permanent spaces are built.

There hasn’t been a young men’s vocational school here for many years, and there are very little records and no curriculum to work with, so it’s like starting from scratch.  Translating my ideas and vision into a useable, teachable format is challenging, as is the business of starting the school.  There are many things about the systems; educational, governmental, etc, which I know nothing about, but which I’m learning.  It also feels to me like we’re doing things at the last minute without enough preparation, and even though for my personality that’s difficult, it seems to be the norm here, and seems to be coming together.

For months various people have come around or called saying something like: “I hear there’s a boy’s vocational school here, when does it start, how many can I send…?”  Generally, lots of interest, affirming the need and desire for vocational training opportunities, so we didn’t feel the need to ‘advertise’, and were cautioned against telling too many, as we might be overwhelmed with applicants.  So we printed 30 applications, made a signup sheet for 60, set up chairs and announced interviews for Monday at 9:00, all for the eight who came (or were brought by their sponsors).  I’m told that’s typical, more will be coming (they have and are), but it again challenges me to be understanding of a culture different than my own.  Of course the biggest hurdles students face are financial; coming up with the money for school fees, or even finding the 1500 schillings (50 cents) for the taxi to get to the interview is prohibitive.  We believe, though, that we will have just the right group of students here when the school begins.  The ones God has planned, not just for them, but for us as well.

Future vocational school: Far door for classroom, next two access workshop

classroom

workshop: wall on right will come down to join similar space on the other side

Beth has been in the US since the beginning of the month spending time with family and friends.  I know it’s been refreshing and enjoyable for her, but she’s been sorely missed here.  Her return next week is greatly anticipated…

July update

Okay, it’s been way too long since the last update, and I’m sure I’ll not be able to give accounts of all that’s happened since March (I think that was my last post), but some reporting is in order.  First the excuse:  most of the time I haven’t felt like posting.  Between the schedule we keep, and the things that happen here, I haven’t wanted to post, though it may have been therapeutic…  Here’s some things that have gone on:

Homes of Hope:  I have nearly completely removed myself from the program, and, though not because of that, it is not going well.  There is not enough committed staff, so keeping the program going locally has been fitful.  There is still the insistence on using foam blocks, but it’s rather difficult to manufacture them when the molds were stolen, presumably to be sold as scrap.  (They were manufactured and shipped here at great expense, and each is made of machined cast aluminum with steel hardware, and weigh around 400 lbs.)  There is an ongoing effort to duplicate them locally and produce new blocks, but there are still pre-existing technological challenges, as well as some new ones which have prevented that from happening.  The team which was scheduled to come next month to build the next house has cancelled, citing security concerns…

I have spent much of my time doing a bathroom remodel, effectively building a new one actually.  I have done most of the work myself, and it has been fun to take on some new ways of doing things; learning and occasionally teaching.  Progress has been painstakingly and frustratingly slow, but I think the end is near, maybe even by the end of next week?

Beth continues to be involved personally in many of the lives of other staff members, some of the students, and even with some of the visitors who pass through.  It’s really a gifting, and I know a big part (probably the most important) of why we’re here.  We’ve become aware that most of the staff have very little financial support and struggle to get by.  We’re thankful that they have places to stay and food to eat, but they all struggle to pay staff fees (most can’t), school fees for their children, or for their basic needs.  Most teams and visitors, especially those from ‘the west’, come to Uganda and see poverty and needs in the surrounding communities, and want to ‘do something’ to ‘help’.  They don’t recognize the people who are serving them at the place they are staying have many of those same needs.  Beth has nearly completed interviewing our staff, and is putting together a binder where visitors can go and see what some of the needs are, and help out, if they feel led to do so.  No pressure, just awareness.

In the middle of June the girl’s VTS graduated, then two weeks later the SBS (School of Biblical Studies) graduated.  Meanwhile the DTS (30 people) was away on outreach, and the base was down to a skeleton staff and their families, and was ghostly quiet, and nature was taking over.  But within the last week a team of three families arrived for their outreach, the DTS returned, and a new family of five from Korea has joined the staff.  The place is bustling again, maybe nature can be held at bay.

With the departure of the girl’s VTS (we miss those students, but get updates and occasional visits), we’ve been focusing some on the upcoming boy’s VTS.  So far it’s weekly meetings as well as some personal time spent, but I’m beginning to feel it’s a reality.  We’re shooting for beginning in September, with an initial group of no more than ten students.  After my experiences in building and maintenance, the program will be ‘general construction’.  There is growing interest, and we’ll have to turn away many who want to be students.  The same can’t be said for staff, so far it’s me. 

Rainy season has pretty much come to an end.  For me it was very interesting to see the cycles of insects during over different periods.  There were days of different flying ants (termites), various crawling bugs, flying bugs, a week of millipedes, then later centipedes.  And the soldier ants, also known as ‘no pants ants’.  You’d wake up one morning and there would be a new column of thousands stretched in lines over several yards.  The columns would last a few days, literally carving out paths through the mud and grass, then abruptly disappear.  Then a new column(s) would appear somewhere else.  The reason for the name ‘no pants ants’ is that if you stepped or paused on or near a column you would have dozens of them from head to toe in and out of your clothes biting fiercely.  People will strip off their clothes to remove the ants.  Beth had the experience one early morning in the kitchen as she was going to help prepare breakfast, and I think everyone can report being bitten on several occasions.  There were a few times where I found myself rescuing some small children as they stood screaming amongst a swarm.

In May we went to visit a YWAM base near Dar es Salaam, Tanzania with a boy’s carpentry vocational school, and a successfully operating clinic.  We took the opportunity to travel by ferry to the island of Zanzibar for a few days rest and leisure.  It’s a beautiful place, and we enjoyed nice accommodations and good food, and hope to return someday.  We also had the opportunity to treat one of our staff to his first plane ride, and a much needed break from his duties here. 

Kailey was able to visit us for the first two weeks of June, and we all enjoyed her time here.  Because of the limited staff and our obligations, we weren’t able to get away as much as we would have liked, but being together is what was important, and we were able to visit Musana and go to town a few times.   From here she went to Paris for a few days to be with her friend, Lauren, then home. 

Beth will also be going home next month.  She’ll be spending time with family and friends, and someone named Lucy.  (Okay she’s family, too, but it’s different.)  I’ll (mostly, hopefully) be preparing for the upcoming VTS, and doing other things, but will be there in spirit, and via Skype.

Much more has happened, and continues to happen.  Please remember us in your prayers.

Zanzibar

guests of honor at girl's VTS graduation

the ants go marching...

Kailey time...

the cobra killed in our neighbor's house